try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
