WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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