Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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