You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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