I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
