mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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