Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize