There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
