we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
