You made me cry and you don't even care
My first STD was from a foam party
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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