did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
