Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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