god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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