I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
