He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
