If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
