I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
