do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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