i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
