champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
