No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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