i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
