My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
this boner is exhausting
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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