I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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