dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
