my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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