I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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