Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
