I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
