I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
