Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
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I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
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Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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