booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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