i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
