it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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