I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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