it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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