This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i now understand why vodka
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
