We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we have officially lost it.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
