Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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