shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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