Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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