i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
