why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
