He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
