My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
