I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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