is your mom at the bar?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
