Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
