I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
