what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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