He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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