hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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