they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
