I'm gonna have a badass scar
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
