No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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