I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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