dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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