We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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