doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
