i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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